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First Kiss

Inside my soul there’s a childish
moon,
That dances with ballerina’s and sleeps
‘til noon.
Clothes become
a costume in disguise,
Ripped by crippled hands.
Innocence is kissed goodbye.

A whisper speaks inside my sleep,
and nightmares walk across my
bedroom’s face.
The doors are locked
and I’ve forgotten,
Why I am living.

A first kiss clings to my neck.

tmsh .... finsihed 6/4/00 7:56 p.m





Almost

It’s like you to kick the sand across the beach
Drink autumn wine on a summer’s day
And then forget about me
It’s like you to pick up the phone
When you’re alone ‘cause you’re thinking about me
It’s like you… almost.

It’s like you to yell and scream at idiosyncrasies
Smoke a joint on the bridge and eat potato chips
It’s like you to write my name
When you’re alone ‘cause you’re thinking about me
It’s like you … almost

I tilt my head back and have a good laugh
Think, “what a joke, what an ass of a man”
I think that I hate you, while I think that I love you
And I think it’s over again
It’s almost over again.

It’s like you to kick and scream while you claim to believe
In the widows and weak little losers
You toss and turn for the souls that you burn
But you never find freedom in unconditional turns
You know piano keys and guitar strings
Mozart, Rio and far away kings
But I wonder, did you ever know me?

You turn your head to the rainbow streets
You whisper a rambling tune
You know the church and the river
And you prey among the birds with
The Christ who knows you.
You think of mother and cry for brother,
And leave your heart for me
You’re leaving your heart for me.
But, I don’t want it.

Forget the meditation and take the medication
What’s it mean to you
It’s like you said, “Better than the alternative”
And it’s almost over again
And it’s like you to think about me
When you’re alone again.
Almost.

Written by theresa smith halfacre, February 14, 2002, 1:39 a.m.





Click picture to ZOOM

On This Day

On this day my father walked me down the isle
On this day I kissed my mother then stood by your side
We held hands, we made promises, and then we bowed heads
And we prayed for each other
And our life ahead

On this day there were ballads dancing in the air
On this day we were dreamers without a cross to bear
We kissed like young lovers and you looked at me
And you swore that forever
Was all you’d ever need

Chorus
We don’t even realize
Years pass by and people die
And our tears they flow
And we laugh,
And we cry,
Sometimes we think we’re through
But on this day as the sun sets,
I’m still in love with you.

On this day, the flowers never smelled so sweet
On this day in my white chiffon
I walk towards a dream
There were gifts, there were sentiments, but none rang so true
As this love in a Carolina – July afternoon

On this day, there was something old
And there was something new
There was something borrowed and something lost
And something blue
And my heart, it belonged beating by your side
And our dreams, they were unassuming and we ourselves assured
Still this love endures.

We watch our world around us
At times bewildering
And then we hold hands
And we walk down the city streets
There we are just like then
With ballads in the air
Underneath the magnolia trees, we’re quite a pair
You and me … on this day
Forever and always
That’s how we’ll always stay.

Written by theresa smith halfacre, June 11, 2004, 2:04 a.m.

I heard this beautiful song on Larry King as they paid tribute to Nancy Reagan. The song was lovely – In This Room – possibly the title song. Anyway, it gave me these thoughts.





Intermingled

Azure skies,
The forest of green
begins to rust.
Life once lush is at the afternoon twilight.
The season is that of the smiling elderly.

Proud weeds with long stalks
Stand in their final rebellion
to the end of their season,
The long, narrow brown pillars
are the marble of the past flowers,
Refusing to bend to the winds
of change, not seeing they have
already. (Above written by Quinn Haas)

Forgiveness scorches the ground (Below written by Theresa Smith Halfacre)
while foliage tries to resuscitate
a forgotten summer.
Morning waits to birth snowflakes
as the slain museum crumbles
alongside neighboring wildlife.

Splashes of color soak
in elegant wonders,
As the foundation prepares
to embrace another season.
Too soon it shall retire
into an ancient auburn midnight,
never to see vibrant colors
blush in young mornings,
or welcome angels to their home overtop the mountains.

Written by Quinn Haas and Theresa Smith Halfacre, October 13, 1999





Aftermath

You’re wandering through a dream
Of unconcern and low self esteem
Feeling restless and insecure
How much more can you endure?
You’re in the aftermath.

It’s a pity you follow monopolies
In a world full of hypocrisy
Underprivileged and undignified
What’s the consequence of your lie?
You’re in the aftermath.

Chorus
Aftermath is just after effects
One high, one low, one reject
Crawl, breathe, fight, win it or lose
Walk, choke, wince, whine then you bruise
You’re in the aftermath

You’re wandering through a hall
Confrontations battle you’re indigent calls
You feel tempted and ill advised
Tossed in the wickedness and the devised
Plan of the Aftermath

Peace is not what it seems
Joy is less than we deem
Choose your path and travel well
Walk the road to heaven or hell
You choose your aftermath

Written by theresa marie smith halfacre, August 3, 2004 2:34 a.m.





This Afternoon

The rain slipped away by afternoon
To let the sun shine in the image of the moon
And for a moment my life was
Suspended in a simple remedy
Of a white dogwood and copper kettle waterfalls

A swing built for three, settled for two
And cuddled a chilly spring day with a rose colored view
I was calm in the moment.
I wasn’t afraid to breathe,
Or laugh.
Or live.

Written by tsmh, April 15, 2005, 1:53 a.m.





Another Holiday

“It’s just another holiday,” she told me
As she walked away
I was in kind of daze,
Like all the world stopped dreaming
What is it you that think of me?
What is it that is left in me?
She is whom I love in life
Never mine to be my wife
Never to share another holiday
Nor a cup of tea.

I watched a riverboat at sea
Wishing useless thoughts for me
Collecting dreams of her pure voice
Would have been my treasured choice
But when she walked away today
It became another holiday
As Whisperers hush the time away
And drink their tea alone.

One things sure in fairytales
They always end, it never fails
And romantics have their lover’s eyes
Starry and immortalized
But I will captivate no more
A transparent heart with stained glass doors
When we share our final breath
Our holiday will be our death
And you’ll be mine once more you see,
To share a cup of tea.

Written by theresa marie halfacre, written March 1, 2004, 2:39 a.m.





Hey, Stupid Girl

Is it real, what I conceal?
I go through my routine.
Night and day, it’s all the same,
And I slowly fade away.
In the wings of a grave,
Blackness covers up my face.
In the dawn,
Am I wrong?
How I tried to find the way.
Hey Stupid Girl, look out and you’ll see
Each breath’s a fight, nothing’s right.
Every dream remains deranged.
What’s the joke, do you smoke?
Take a drink and slit the pain.
All will end, all will write
That your future ends tonight.
Hey, Stupid Girl, what’s your mirror say?
You’re a fool, f*cking fool,
But there is comfort in your pain.
All your guts, all the cuts,
Oh, there must be something left.
Can it be that I am me,
And I really do not know?
Hey, Stupid Girl, tell me why you die?
Have you lived, can’t you give,
Don’t you know that lovers cry?
Trade it in, it’s a sin,
And the wickedness reveals.
Is it stone, are you alone?
Does the salt sting through your veins?
Hey, Stupid Girl, call me anytime.
Read me songs, sing me books,
Take the best and make it look
Like the worst in which you hide.
Hey, Stupid Girl, you do not know pain.
It’s the blood from above,
That’s the only pain of love.
Will you learn, will you leave?
Will you ever just agree?
Hey, Stupid Girl, you’re a stupid girl,
But that’s okay, I know the shame
And I’m walking in your shoes.
Hey, Stupid Girl, one day it will end.
Not today, not tonight, but perhaps one stupid day.

February 24th, 2001 12:48 a.m.





Thirty three dead from a bullet in the head
Not a single shot left for me
Lying on the ground
Not making a sound
Just moving reflexively
One boy, one woman, 31 men
Killed by one hand in combat
I guess we all need an excuse
For everything in life that we do
Oh, he never even said it made him sad
A kindred spirit; I don’t understand

So now I’m thinking out of the box
Wishing I could join them
Thinking outside of the box
With the 33 dead, shot in the head
I want to think in the box with them.
Shoot me in the head and leave me for dead
Cause’ this combat’s killing me

There’s a doorway and an edge of a razor blade
There’s a hallway and voice that’s following me
Box me up and burn me in the ground
It’s the only way I’ll ever sleep sound
Sleeping and thinking outside the box
It hurts… it hurts a lot.

I scrape away a little skin
Nothing but the mood I’m in
The mood will go away
Just like the 33 that died that day.
Combat kills but we do too
It’s all in the path we choose
What do we sacrifice?
Are you losing any sleep tonight?
Trigger this and trigger that
What the hell, who gives a crap?
We're killing in the name of combat.
And you got me thinking outside of the box.
Oh, I'd rather be thinking inside that box.

Written by theresa smith halfacre, May 31, 1:12 a.m.





Loons on the Lake

When my nights are paralyzing and I can no longer sleep, I walk into my childhood and
visit the loons on the lake. I remember so clearly, their language of love. Their voice was enchanting; their colors brilliant with black in the blue morning mist on Lake Michigan.
They swallowed my loneliness and called me by name; they glided like sailboats in the whispering rain. They made love with the water and their wilderness song. In an instant their music was as warm as sand on the beach. They cling to my memories that sleep in my dreams. As the loons of Lake Michigan live in my mind, I walk into my childhood to a cabin, safe and far, far away from a Chicago Boulevard, and stand on the front porch with Aunt Jo and Uncle Jack. Clearly I hear them say, “Look Trese, the Loons knew you were coming!” I loved these moments and treasure them still. And I know the loons are still near – like a favorite sketch from a favorite artist – they wait for me to turn the page. And I do...when the night is paralyzing and I can no longer sleep I walk into my childhood and visit the loons on the lake. The night is not as frightening and he is nowhere near. All I had to do was visit my cottage home, where laughter sang from a cabin and loons glided on whispering lakes, and all the world was peaceful through young green eyes.

It’s time to try and sleep now. I go with sweet dreams to another life that remembers my true name and calls out to meet me once again. I watch and listen in awe of the loons. I love my aunt and uncle and, and their cabin of dreams … and all my thoughts are “nifty.”

Written by theresa smith halfacre, may 7, 1999, 1:56 a.m.





My Backyard

Softer than the night
In a sweet December darkness
Come flurries of winter white
Mixed within the starkness of
Carolina’s simplicity
And everything is still
And all the birds are silent
In the wonderland of my backyard.

Falling and falling, like sweetness
Calling from heaven
I make snow angels as icecyles dangle
From my cellar door
They are beautiful and crystal clear
Just like the God who brought them here
And I’m surprised by the blessings
In the wonderland of my backyard.

Hours earlier I was uninspired
Overworked and over tired
God wasn’t in my thoughts
As I complained my day away
And let the moments slip away
Like a fair weathered friend
I’m back again
To thank Him for blessings
In the wonderland of my backyard.

Written by theresa smith halfacre, March 10, 2004, 1:51

We’re expecting a little more snow tonight … we’re having unbelievably, surprisingly, cold wintry winter.

###

My Quiet Little Prayer

I knelt before my father
I had nowhere else to go
All the world walked out
‘Cause I never let them know
I never let them know
That sometimes I cry
Sometimes I’m scared
Sometimes I fear
That’s there’s little left to love
I have nothing to offer,
Nothing to give
But on this night, this very
Night tonight
My quiet little prayer.

I got down on my knees
I couldn’t say a word
Every teardrop falling
Touched another hurt
All I did was weep
I couldn’t keep silent … anymore
Sometimes I hurt
Sometimes I don’t care
Sometimes I feel the dirt
In the very skin I wear
I try not to cry
I try not to care
But tonight I’m broken.

I stayed quiet all night long
I couldn’t break the silence
I knew that I belonged… in among
His presence, among his glance
He covered me with comfort
He covered me with love
He cradled me in the peace
I couldn’t find alone
But right there in this night
This very night tonight
The sadness slipped away
In my quiet little prayer

All I had to do was to feel
Like no one really cared
And when I dropped down on my knees
He was already there
He knew I couldn’t bear
Life without my quiet little prayer.

Written by theresa smith halfacre, March 11, 2004, 2:06 a.m.





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