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Adoption We were born in the same state In three different years Our parents drove hundreds of miles To sign the dotted line each time And form a cohesive family Forty years later We all live in a different state I can’t help but shake my head Somewhat amused, somewhat confused That the very roads that led to our childhood Keep us apart as adults. Written by theresa smith halfacre, August 18, 2006 6:01 p.m Final Wave Hey, Jackson lets ride that last wave The ocean’s as red as the season of change It’s got a spirit for sure And the water’s as pure As the eye that stings through your veins Salting the earth with the taste of your skin Two feet of courage; the tide's rolling in It takes rhythm to live Let’s fly with the wind And crash as the sea parts again Let’s forget the cutting of strings All the sorrow that war brings Confuse demons for sleep Feathered angels move deep Beneath the storms thundering chin Why do we have to wonder? So many lives; out there under fire. Can’t we all live in peace? Join every hand of disease; Hunger for the right way to die? Hey Jackson, raise your hand for a final wave The ocean’s as blue as the life you gave You had a spirit for sure And a heart just as pure And your eye’s the calm in this hurricane. From ocean to coast to land Every wave makes a stand Why can’t we be; The calm in the sea? We all have blood on our hands. Written by theresa smith halfacre, August 6, 2006 3:27 a.m. A Family of Strangers Once upon a time, I was a little girl I dreamt of a family and a perfect world I found my prince and married him We worked five days and then slept in We talked about our family; We couldn’t want for more Until one day opportunity came knocking Yeah, it knocked down my door And soon before I knew it I didn’t know him anymore Once upon a time, I had a mom and dad They loved me in a way, only they could understand I did my best to give back to them As hard I tried, it seemed I failed again So I stopped trying And decided not to care I took a job out of state from 9 to 5 I kissed them both and waved good-bye Then before I knew it, They both had died. The strangers are my family now That I no longer know They seemed to want too much from me So I just let them go Now their words call hauntingly From far beyond the grave They lift their hands up lovingly But, I’m to ashamed to say, “I’m sorry, I went away.” Once upon a time, my brothers were my friends Played basketball in the driveway; Rode our bikes ‘til 10 p.m. Who would know that we’d grow old, Become someone we didn’t know? Best intentions sometimes fail Birthday cards were never mailed Now they’re far away from me We don’t seem like a family And the further we go The further the memories fades Once upon a time, I had a little girl She grew up dreaming of a perfect world Opportunities came knocking again Work in the morning, home after ten I set her aside with her dreams A nanny to hold her and teach her things I never knew how much I missed ‘Til her dream came true; she found a prince Opportunities set her free She grew up just like me To my family I’m a stranger now That they no longer know I seemed to take so much from them So, they just let me go My words call to them hauntingly From far above the graves I lift my hands up lovingly I’m not ashamed to say “I’m sorry, I went away” God, I miss my family now They slipped away; And I know how. theresa smith halfacre august 2006 Drop Dead Gorgeous She was sitting in a tavern Three hundred miles from home So far she had traveled To get away from it all Skeletons and broken bones She’s better alone Alone and away Drop dead gorgeous There in the tavern She felt a little sting Spinning on the juke box Was a song they used to sing She grabbed her purse For whatever it was worth Just walked away Alone and away Drop dead gorgeous There’s a fragrance in freedom Few of us know It whispers to believers And welcomes them home Play hard and wild, sweet child Before you go Alone and away Drop dead gorgeous She was standing in the doorway Her mind was a mile away She never saw him coming Three hundred miles away Pulled the trigger; left nothing but a trace Drop dead gorgeous went home Wearing an angel’s face Alone and away Drop dead gorgeous Feel the draft behind you Listen to the wind It isn’t always blowing But it’s always talkin’ It hits home; wherever home is You can’t out run it You can only wish Alone and away Drop dead gorgeous theresa smith halfacre 2006 Virginia, In the End Is Virginia here among the chatter? And if she is, do I even care? Exquisite in the end, does it matter? Some memories too often disappear. Cultured intellectuals sometimes feared her The darkest eyes are sometims too clear Following nightmares of the written word And voices only she could hear A testament of endurance and resistance Became the incubation of her art Complicating nights with composition Desperate to keep two worlds apart Penning souls, she put on paper A portrait of the words she wrote Caught between wars that would rape her In the end she only left them a note Virginia, there is laughter for the lonely Lying in the veins of River Ouse A thousand tears hold the future to you only And unshackles what the rest of us lose Virginia is here among the chatter And, yes, it’s true that I care Exquisite in the end, it doesn’t matter Some memories too often reappear. Your hair, like a lighthouse, courses time Lost in one sentence you left behind Sometimes cruel can be like sunshine In the end it's dark and unkind. Written by theresa smith halfacre July 2006 Just Another Saturday It was just another Saturday Feeling down; didn’t have much to say Then you walked in the place Took your guitar from its case And said “Friend, everything’s gonna be all right.” I kinda laughed; you could see it in my eyes I was feeling like we all do from time to time So we toasted a drink And toked on some weed I said, “Friend, let’s dance 100 years tonight” We danced all the way through the night 100 Years, 100 years, was right We could have walked away From just another Saturday But sometimes a secret is better than a lie Sometimes a dance gets us through the night Nothing’s better than questions when you’re high Nothing’s better than a fantasy in the sky Did the drums really beat; To the echoes of our sighs? Did the kiss taste as sweet as sweet Caroline? Mornings always come; some memories never go I wouldn’t change the story if I could We both walked away Said, “Friend, it was great.” And it wasn’t just another Saturday No, it wasn’t just another Saturday Written by theresa smith halfacre, 2006 Below the Surface In the basement or on the wall There's a puzzle of dreams Hopes for healing Keep resurfacing Then whispers from a cesspool Follow violent screams Relentless and belligerent Is often what it seems There’s a surface, there’s a space There’s a hiding place Brushed beneath the carpet Memories can’t erase The picture of a baseball Hanging from a thread And a suitcase full of toys Their daddy gave to them The liquor and the wine Does it mean more than them? Think a thought, say a prayer Before you scream again There is Jesus; there is Christ There is more to life Lying just below the surface That you fight Tear stains on a pillowcase Fall quiet; out of sight Silenced in the bitter pain Of a drug infested family Whispers from a cesspool Follow violent screams Relentless and belligerent Is often what it seems. Just below the surface Lay so many dreams Waiting for the comfort Of a loving family We have wars, we have death They shouldn’t be in our homes Surrender to the tenderness Before everything worth living for is gone In the basement or on the wall There's a puzzle of dreams Let’s piece it back together Before one more family falls. Written by theresa smith halface, July 26, 2006 2:07 a.m. The Way It Felt I remember a walk though the forest Footsteps before nights rest Laughter before tears of shame Spread across a quilt of blame Standing in the summer rain It falls upon my energy And takes nothing away And takes nothing away Remembering the way it felt To hold your hand; feel the warmth To walk a mile inside your shoes Forgetful of tomorrow’s news Every tree looks like a stranger now I once knew every branch and bough Now, I only know the clouds Now, I only know the clouds Soon the morning finally came The woods quickly forgot my name I don’t know what’s stopping me ‘Cause loving you comes easily I think I’ll just crawl back to bed Lose the path that we danced in Forget what might have been Forget what might have been Working overtime these days Anything to forget the pain I sell egos and I sell souls I’ve gotten to the know the devil, and oh He tells me, “Come join me, girl, I’ll hold your hand and calm your world.” Tempted, I look in his eyes Tempted, I look in his eyes “Everyone who’s fought before They first knocked on their God’s door He showed them the harder way They all came back to me to stay C’mon girl, you get in honestly You’re just a dream of make believe That’s what the forest is for That’s what the forest is for" There are many Gods but just one hell I throw my life in a wishing well It takes my pennies with my screams Inside this forest of broken dreams Footsteps just beside of me I recognize the path it seems I wonder where it will lead I wonder where it will lead Remembering the way it felt To hold my hand and feel the warmth You never walked inside my shoes You only had my heart to lose I guess it meant nothing to you We had a lot, we lost a lot I can forgive, you will not I can forgive; you will not God is damned in Satan’s claws Consumed by hell and its laws Every one must somehow pay For this broken dream we made Remembering the walk alone The summer rain; nights we’ve known I want to go home I want to go home Remembering the way it felt Inside the hand that I once held It’s nothing now; just dust on trees I can’t shake loose the memory The woods are warm, so I’m told I choose the broken path alone To the footsteps where God carried me God, please stop and look for me … And find him with me And find him with me. Written by theresa smith halfacre, 2006 Home Take me into the woods Build a home for just us two A fireplace made with stones Comfortably, we’ll live alone We had a dream I dream it still A little meadow A little hill A forgotten promise On a windowsill A little lace A little trace A forgotten tomorrow A forgotten place I miss you And our home Take me in to the woods Build a campfire for just us two Then place my heart on a stake So it may burn for good I had a dream I dreamt alone You set the foundation Then let it grow Tall like weeds In our home. Written by theresa smith halface 2006 2:04 a.m. What God Intended Troops of soldiers pound their way To my country you call the enemy In the name of God you say Is that what I am to you? I’m a nine year old refugee Insurgents killed my family A word I barely knew before You came to my country Is that what you are teaching me? Is that what God has planned for me? Daddy’s dead and I don’t believe, That’s what God intended Bombs are blasting in the air Walls collapsing everywhere Mommy cries for Mashadani A kid napping in Fallujah Now you won’t let me speak Waving guns; promoting peace My blouse is torn and you kiss me I’ve never been kissed before Is that what you are teaching me? Is that what God has planned for me? Bodies lying in street and I don’t believe That’s what God intended Now, I don’t speak your language; I love Jesus Christ and God I believe in the Prophet Mohammed It’s what I was taught A gun made of plastic is my hand You gave it to me to help me understand Why I'm crying a hospital bed Missing my daddy Is that what you are teaching me? Is that what God had planned for me? Promoting peace with deadly deeds Is that what God intended? Is this what God is teaching us? Is this what God has planned for us? With every bullet we spill his blood Is this what God intended? Written by theresa smith halfacre, June 21, 2006 12:34 a.m. Tombstone If every broken heart had a tombstone Every angel would say a prayer In memory of all lost loves And silence buried there If every broken heart had a reason To believe they’d love again There would be one less lonely morning To awake without a care I think it doesn’t matter I think not which way to go I think I’ll find my tombstone And live comfortably alone Where the angels and my Jesus Are wiping away the blood From the hundred year old battle Between the two of us This broken heart has a tombstone Your name is carved next to mine Now we only live together In the battles of our mind Written by theresa smith halfacre Bittersweet Bittersweet, I remember Long ago you gave a spirited fight. Now the days surrender to the memory, Of another time lost in soldier’s sky. What’s it take for darkness not to haunt you? Where will your dreams go if they die? Let’s cry awhile, Let the Sunday morning rapture, Capture us in a Carolina sky. Bittersweet, do you remember The years that have simply past you by? No one loves you like they use to. You’ve aged like a fairytale from a lullaby. Stay awhile; let memories surround you. What’s the harm? They’ve already killed your mind. Gingerbread with lemon sauce awaits you, In a room with morning blend served at nine. Bittersweet, do you remember How we danced to bird songs and wind chimes? What does it matter and who really cares When you’re children are grown And on their own? You are mine and I am yours I will always love you. I’ll hold your hand and stroke your face; I’ll keep you safe. Bittersweet, Bittersweet, Oh how I fear tomorrow As I begin to lose your mind. And bouquets of yellow roses begin their rest. Written by theresa smith halfacre Love Me Who am I to you now? Have I become something less to you? I’m not all that you hoped I would be But do you still believe in me? Questions keep resurfacing Intentions can be cruel and unkind How can I explain when I don’t understand, Dreams younger than my mind? Where are you now when I need you? A million light years away I search in the night only to find Your voice silenced and decayed Do you still laugh at my dreams? Can you even laugh at all? So many questions; how can I believe? Your body has fallen away Do you still love me? Can you still love me? And if you do, How can I love me, too? Damning myself in the mirror I look at it two times a day Fighting with eyes that control me And never lead me to your face I miss you Dad, I hope you know The road I took, I traveled alone Deceit and force took their toll on me I denied every truth Stillness is standing next to me I long to hold its hand Uncertain, I want to be free Frightened, I don’t understand Do you still love me? Can you still love me? And if you do, How can I love me, too? theresa smith halfacre, 2006 1:56 a.m. Places Along the Way There are places along the way We meet people in the dark We look into their eyes We see a little spark Of life and dreams and holy things And sorrow and disease But when I go a wandering Please help me to believe That life is meant to give And life is meant to share And people in the dark Are just as afraid as of those who dare To walk into the light To walk into the shadows That whisper "help me" in the night I want to change the world I want to give it peace I want to give it everything And let the madness cease You are just one boy; I am just one girl But together in this life we live We can work to end the suffering Seen upon this earth There are faces along the way We meet people wrought with fear We look into the eyes of the young and old Who determines a different race? What symbol represents a soul? The sun and moon and seas are what make us whole Holy and united we don’t need to be at war And when I go a wandering Please help me to help them more I have so much to give If only I believe That in my heart there is a dream That I have yet to see And if I fear the dark And if you fear the day We'll hold hands though the shadows I know we’ll find our way And we’ll shout our words of joy To all the people in each land Reach across the waters I’ll extend to you my hand It’s something I believe In the places along the way Days may pass and years may go But love will find its resting place in every soul. Just believe in the places along the way And peace will build a home For you and me and for liberty And the freedoms that we hold God bless this dream Shed it from sea to sea Cause I want to change the world I want to give it peace I swear it’s such a simple prayer Still children and dying everywhere Never will they grow Peace they’ll never know If left to carry the burden alone. Take this heart and I’ll sacrifice every dream I’ll never know If you give it to the places along the way Along the way. Written by theresa smith halface, July 27, 2005 1:56 a.m. Turned On It’s 1 a.m. again The only thing turned on is me Lying in my bed alone Thinking ‘bout memories Memories make me laugh out loud They make me cry a tear Memories can do most anything Except bring you back to me I thought about writing you a letter I thought about giving you a call But, what would I say to you? Seems we’ve said it all I’ve changed everything about me I’ve changed the color of my hair I stopped looking in the mirror Most days I never care I’ve got three bruises I’ve got three old dirty shirts I’ve got an assload of dresses I’ve got new shoes for work Memories make me laugh out loud They make me cry a tear Memories can do most anything Except bring you back to me. I thought about writing you a letter I thought about giving you a call I have so much to tell you Or have we said it all? Did you hear about David? Did you hear about DC? Did you hear that Jessica, Got a job with NBC? It’s one a.m. again The only thing turned on is the tv Lying in my bed alone Thinking how you turned on me. Written by theresa smith halfacre, 1:10 a.m. GOOD GIRL I am the good girl The one who is always fair The one who stands up for the voiceless I’m a faceless name in a crowd But every body knows me somehow Will they ever, will they ever go away You know I can’t be everything they say So I fall down, I fall down on my knees Please give me a moment or two I’m not your angel I’m not your sweet little victory doll I die inside myself all night long And you never really know How much I wish, I really wish I wasn’t I’m a good girl I never drink and drive I go to church, I pray, I work, I try I am simple But there’s so many me’s inside I don’t know which is me or who am I And when I sleep I walk the landslide of my life Oh, keep breathing Keep the fight going on all day Is it only in mind? Will I ever find the peace that never rests at night? I am the good girl I’m the pretty face in the crowd She knows her stuff, she’s loveable, and she’s kind She’s a loser And she’s never there on time And when she is she’s always disappointing Who’s the brother, That one that left her to die? The one who broke this trusting heart of mine? He says she’s worthless And she’s an angel. With a demon deep inside. She’s Corinthians Uncle Screwtape give us a sigh For the good girl. Who’s the good girl? God, I won’t pray for you to take this pain away I only want to know who made me this way? And why. Cause I’m a good girl. Written by theresa smith halfacre, February 24, 2005, 10:51 p.m. Winters Reaping As time slips by and dream sweep past I lie in Winters Reaping I dreamt I cried a thousand cries No one heard my weeping Oh take my hand my forgotten love For I am weak with sorrow I am the one who harbors in The shallow ebb of mourning I walk a path I do not know I walk a path alone I take on burdens near and far But never heed their warnings For I am tired with blackened eyes And sleep is never near me The winter seeps in all my wounds Though never does it hear me Passions lie in rocks and streams I wander in the morn I take a sip of wine and drink The blood of the Lord “Come follow me,” he says to me But I am weak and broken I seek not truth nor trust the look Not even when I am weeping I bow my head I pray to thee I walk to the human edge I look down deep for castle rocks And to the Winter I pledge I pledge my life to mysteries I pledge my life to dreams I pledge my ruined life to thee I pledge eternally In silence someone speaks to me And dreams, they come alive Sweet Jesus you came back to me You never left my side You prayed for me You stayed for me You walked with the weary trodden On Calvary you whispered to me “I’ll meet you in Winters Reaping” Oh darling love, oh darling love, My life on earth in not over Though I am sad, I touch the land In reverie of clover I don’t know where we go from here I only know it’s together. Written by Theresa Smith Halfacre | Theresa | halfacre promotions: Featuring Carla Ulbrich | Acoustic Coffee House, Johnson City, TN | Land of Monuments | Writings in the Rain | Audio Clips | The Unnofficial Half | Links Booking John Brannen | The Grey Eagle Concert Photo's | Return Home | There Are Those ... | MY BOOK! | |
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